Perspectives on Fear :: Personal Narrative Writing

â€Å"At the University of California at Irvine, experiments in rats indicate that the brain’s hormonal reaction to fear can be inhibited, softening the formation of memories and the emotions they evoke† (Baard). Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I lie in bed for hours while my mind churns through endless streams of fragmented thoughts and memories, bits of brain matter that I do not have time for in my waking life. I have tried the homeopathic remedies. I drink â€Å"calming† teas, take showers, and inhale scents advertised to promote sleep and relaxation. I even have a lavender neck pillow. Nevertheless, when I am inflicted with a bout of sleeplessness, there is usually very little I can do but wait it out. I stay away from sleep drugs. The streetlamp outside paints shapes across the wall next to my bed. I can see them in the darkness, dull orange lines that have become familiar in my many restless nights. At the heart of their canvas, they intersect to form a rectangle. A rectangle? For months I believed in this reality of form with the inborn certainty that accompanies that which is obvious. I didn’t have to think about it. Nightly, I would study the shape in a sleep haze, unconsciously harboring knowledge of its regularity. Except that it is not a rectangle. Two forty seven. Nearly three hours after my first attempt at sleep, I stared up at the wall and realized for the first time the distortion within the orange light. Where the lines connected to form the shape, the rectangle, were angles. Obtuse and acute, they had none of the symmetrical regularity that geometry dictates of a true rectangle. The outline on the wall was crooked, skewed, an imperfect representation of the form. I tend to think of my memories as shoeboxes, precise, neatly uniform components that stack tidily in the mind. Somehow I have trained myself to believe that in regularity and order I will uncover the diagram of my true self, a clear-cut explanation for all that I think, say, and do. But in sleepless nights I realize that even old recurring thoughts can be strangely misshapen, and I am thrown into a tailspin. My memories of experiencing fear seem contorted. Among the most vivid of my recollections, they stand out with their potent doses of color, emotion, and experience. They have been with me so long that I rarely question the nature of their composition.

Trainspotting

The Uncanny in Trainspotting I am interested in analyzing the â€Å"repression† element of the term uncanny in the way it is used in the â€Å"cold turkey† scene of Trainspotting. Repression is the way in which one pushes a memory or feeling to the back of one’s mind, in the hope that it will never come about in one’s train of thought again. If it does however, it would create an uncomfortable and unnerving situation. Trainspotting revolves around characters that are aiming to repress life itself by shooting up heroin all hours of the day.The â€Å"cold turkey† scene of this movie in particular is the most uncanny scene of all because it encompasses many of the thoughts and emotions that Renton, the main character, is trying to repress, but is forced to face. Paranoia, depression, hallucinations, and zombie babies are all a part of this timeless scene that truly leaves the viewer in an uneasy and ambivalent state of mind. Danny Boyle does not waste time easing the audience into Renton’s withdrawal symptoms, but rather throws them right into the scene.From the second Renton is locked in his room, a feeling of uncanniness sweeps over the audience, for as awful as Renton may feel, the audience is left unsympathetic to the whole situation. Renton, as he states throughout the film, is a bad person, and the audience will never sympathize with the bad person. Therefore, as the scene progresses, there is a sense of cognitive dissonance between wanting to feel sorry for Renton, and feeling that he is getting what he deserves. The uncanniness of the scene continues as Renton’s bedroom comes into perspective.It takes place in his childhood room which is covered in trains. It is uncanny that Renton is locked in a room like this, for it perfectly embodies the theme of the movie. The word â€Å"trainspotting† has many meanings, all of which can be applied to Renton’s life. First, it literally stands for one who s pots trains and takes note of when it comes and goes, which therefore translates to an utterly useless life. It also refers to the track marks that are left in the veins after shooting up. Users typically shoot along one main vein, therefore adapting the term, â€Å"station to station,† to this action.A child’s bedroom is typically a place of innocence and safety, however in Renton’s case, it is his doomed sarcophagus. His bed soon starts moving backwards, and the room starts elongating, as if to personify the notion that Renton is being pulled into limbo where he will be forced to face the reality of his oncoming hallucinations. What he soon starts seeing is rather uncanny, for he believes he is being visited by his family and friends, but in reality they are all figments of his imagination made up in his ongoing heroin derived/deprived mind.In particular, he imagines his friend Diane singing the song â€Å"Temptation. † It is coincidental that she is si nging this song because it is about being enamored and drawn to certain people and situations, but having to cope with the reality that they or it will no longer be there. The crawling, dead baby is another vital character of Renton’s hallucination. Baby Dawn, whom Renton has repressed his feelings for since her poor demise, crawls across the room, stops right above Renton’s body, and stares lifelessly into his eyes.The term uncanny is most brilliantly personified through this scene because this baby that was once familiar to Renton, is now altered, creepy, and morbid, creating immense uneasiness due to the uncertainty of her state of being. Danny Boyle masterfully articulates the horrors of withdrawals in the â€Å"cold turkey† scene of Trainspotting, which is why it is considered one of the greatest movies of all time. This was only achieved, however, through the presence of the uncanny, for it was the quintessential factor that made the scene that much more i nsightful and visceral.

Essay on Passionate Gertrude in Shakespeares Hamlet

Passionate Gertrude in Hamlet Like so many of the characters in Shakespeare’s tragedy Hamlet, Gertrude appears to be dominated by passion. This essay will explore this and other aspects of her interesting character. Lilly B. Campbell comments in â€Å"Grief That Leads to Tragedy† on Queen Gertrude’s sinful state: Shakespeare’s picture of the Queen is explained to us by Hamlet’s speech to her in her closet. There we see again the picture of sin as evil willed by a reason perverted by passion, for so much Hamlet explains in his accusation of his mother: You cannot call it love, for at your age The hey-day in the blood is tame, it’s humble, And waits upon the judgement; and what judgement†¦show more content†¦The queen obviously considers her son’s dejection to result from his father’s demise. Angela Pitt considers Gertrude â€Å"a kindly, slow-witted, rather self-indulgent woman. . . .† (47). She joins in with the king in requesting Hamlet’s stay in Elsinore rather than returning to Wittenberg to study. Respectfully the son replies, â€Å"I shall in all my best obey you, madam.† So at the outset the audience notes a decidedly good relationship between Gertrude and those about her in the drama, even though Hamlet’s â€Å"suit of mourning has been a visible and public protest against the royal marriage, a protest in which he is completely alone, and in which he has hurt his mother† (Burton â€Å"Hamlet†). Hamlet’s first soliloquy expresses his anger at the quickness of his mother’s marriage to Claudius, an â€Å"o’erhasty marriage† (Gordon 128), and its incestuousness since it is between family: â€Å"Frailty, thy name is woman! . . . .† Rebecca Smith interprets his anti-motherly feelings: â€Å"Hamlet’s violent emotions toward his mother are obvious from his first soliloquy, in which 23 of the 31 lines express his anger and disgust at what he perceives to be Gertrude’s weakness, insensitivity, and, most important, bestiality. . . .(80). When the ghost talks privately to Hamlet, he learns not only about the murder of his father, but also about the unfaithfulness and adultery of his mother, â€Å"the human truth† (Abrams 467). Philip Edwards’ â€Å"The Ghost:Show MoreRelatedWilliam Shakespeares Hamlet745 Words   |  3 PagesIn William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet is a unique character due to his unpredictability. 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